Prologue to What Brothers Think, What Sistahs Know:

If you really, really want to get to know your partner, try writing a book together.Over the course of three months, we had to hash out our feelings on some pretty dicey topics before we began to put fingers to the keyboard. (Ask your partner how he/she would react if you got fat and see what happens.) It wasn't always pleasant, it wasn't always easy, but it certainly was informative. We learned things about ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends that we probably didn't need to know; we heard some closely held views that we weren't pleased to hear.

But in the end, even though we didn't always agree, the process of talking and writing drew us even closer together.Denene usually composed on the laptop, on which she pounded away as she sat in front of the television. (Hey, whatever works.) Nick wrote on the desktop, hunched over the keyboard in the tiny office/computer room. Our meeting point was often the kitchen, where we'd munch on snacks--Cheezits, Haagen-Dazs, cold leftover chicken wings--we shouldn't be eating and argue or clarify one point after another.

When the exchanges between us on paper and face-to-face got particularly testy on a few occasions, we'd stay in our neutral corners and hit the kitchen when the other person wasn't there.But even if the conversation on these rare days was strained, we still had to talk to get the work done. That turned out to be a healthy experience for us, because, like many couples, we had always found it easier to inflict silence on each other when there was a chill in the air.Of course, advising couples to "communicate" has got to be some of the oldest advice under the sun.

That doesn't necessarily mean it's not sage advice--it's just not very original. But knowing that you should talk to each other and doing it are very different things, aren't they? That's where we hope What Brothers Think, What Sistahs Know will come in handy. Perhaps you can use the topics we selected and the questions we posed as starting points, initiating a dialogue by asking your man or woman how they would answer our questions and whether they agree or disagree with the answers we gave.

Perhaps you could ask your mate whether some of the solutions we offer would work in your household. Or maybe you can just try some of our suggestions and see for yourself whether they work. (One exception: the advice about rubbing out your man's momma is a joke. If you don't recognize that, you got problems we can't help you with.)

If you do use our books in any way to initiate dialogue or just make your partner laugh, we'd like to hear about it. Share your stories with us. Send us an e-mail.